John Mayer

Jessica Simpson and John Mayer broke up again

Posted on June 6th, 2007 by Jordan Johnson
File Under: Celebrity Breakups, High Quality Celebrity Pictures, Jessica Simpson, John Mayer

So I think this is like the 12th time I’ve heard about Jessica Simpson and John Mayer breaking up. Although the other 11 times, I don’t think Jessica Simpson was wearing what appears to be a towel as a dress. So that makes this time newsworthy in my book. Oh, and I think John might have stolen Jessica’s dog, too. You heard it here first!

Exclusive: Jessica Simpson is pregnant

Posted on March 23rd, 2007 by Jordan Johnson
File Under: Celebrity Babies, High Quality Celebrity Pictures, Jessica Simpson, John Mayer

Sources have revealed exclusively to JordanIsYourHomeboy.com that Jessica Simpson is pregnant with John Mayer’s baby. They further revealed that her pregnancy is the reason why her relationship with John Mayer has gone public so suddenly, and also why she’s been moody with the paparazzi lately.

I feel bad for the kid. He/she could come out looking like a supermodel, or… well, like John Mayer. If it’s the former, the baby will have a lifetime of happiness and wealth. If it’s the latter… well, let’s hope they realize the baby’s human and don’t accidently throw it in the biohazard container when it’s born.

High quality candid paparazzi pictures of Jessica Simpson and John Mayer out and about in Hollywood on March 21st, 2007:

HQ candid paparazzi pictures of Jessica Simpson hiding her baby bump while going to a party with John Mayer for St. Patrick’s Day on March 17th, 2007:

John Mayer is still pretending he’s with Jessica

Posted on March 15th, 2007 by Jordan Johnson
File Under: High Quality Celebrity Pictures, Jessica Simpson, John Mayer

John Mayer is a cool guy. I really appreciate him doing me the favor of pretending he’s with Jessica Simpson so that she and I can keep our relationship a secret. I mean, after all, we want to be fair to the other celebrity couples. If we ever revealed our relationship, who would be on the cover of every celebrity gossip magazine every week? Yep. Us. Life in the spotlight can be strenuous sometimes, so we want to give the other couples their time to shine, too.

Jessica Simpson and John Mayer broke up

Posted on September 6th, 2006 by Jordan Johnson
File Under: Celebrity Breakups, Jessica Simpson, John Mayer

Lucky for me, Jessica Simpson and John Mayer have already broken up less than than two weeks after they were rumored to be a couple. It’s being reported that John broke it off because Jessica seemed to be trying to use it as a publicity stunt, but I’m gonna go with the real reason being that Jessica broke it off because she found out John Mayer is actually a gnome.

High quality candid paparazzi pictures of Jessica Simpson leaving her hotel in Soho on September 5th, 2006:

Weekly Roundup for August 27th, 2006 - September 2nd, 2006

Posted on September 2nd, 2006 by Jordan Johnson
File Under: Britney Spears, Cameron Diaz, Charlize Theron, Drew Barrymore, Jessica Simpson, John Mayer, Kate Hudson, Kevin Federline, Lindsay Lohan, MTV Video Music Awards, Paris Hilton, Sean Preston Federline, Weekly Roundups

Lindsay Lohan thinks the gothic look is in. Paris Hilton makes people spray Tilex on their genitals. Britney Spears desperately needs a chandelier for her new baby’s room. Charlize Theron looks good in a bikini. Paris Hilton’s album is a flop, and her pet bit her (probably as a result of listening to her “music”). Jessica Simpson lost her voice. Kate Hudson’s son still looks like a girl. Jessica Simpson and John Mayer might be dating. Cameron Diaz and Drew Barrymore went shopping together, and I thought the world was going to end because of all the ugliness. The MTV VMA’s were just as boring as you expected them to be. And finally, Kevin Federline released the music video for Kevin Federline - “Lose Yourself”.

5 Most Popular Articles This Week:

1. Fug and fuglier go shopping together (16 comments)
2. Jessica Simpson lost her voice (15 comments)
3. Paris Hilton’s album is a flop (13 comments)
4. Kevin Federline’s “Lose Yourself” Music Video (11 comments)
5. Paris Hilton is infected (10 comments)

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Jessica Simpson might be dating John Mayer

Posted on August 31st, 2006 by Jordan Johnson
File Under: Jessica Simpson, John Mayer

So it’s being reported that Jessica Simpson and John Mayer may be an item. I heard about it yesterday, but didn’t want to post it. For obvious reasons, the thought of my baby being with someone like him causes me to convluse uncontrollably. If the news is true, I may have to find another female starlet to fantasize about obsess over. (Just kidding boo. Call me!).

Jessica Simpson arriving at LAX with John Mayer her dog on August 25th, 2006: