David and Victoria Beckham

Tom Cruise really, really wants Katie Holmes and Victoria Beckham to be a scientologists. Really.

Posted on March 21st, 2007 by Jordan Johnson
File Under: David Beckham, David and Victoria Beckham, High Quality Celebrity Pictures, Katie Holmes, Tom Cruise, Victoria Beckham

Apparently Tom Cruise has become so demanding of Katie Holmes that she’s spent hours crying to her friend Victoria Beckham about it:

When Tom Cruise lets his inner control freak get the best of him, there’s one person Katie Holmes, 28, knows she can count on for a shoulder to cry on: her British best friend Victoria Beckham.

“Katie has been crying over the phone,” an insider tells Us Weekly. “She’s frustrated. Tom is denying her every single thing.”

Tom also has apparently been trying to convince the Beckham’s to convert to scientology, and has called them up to 18 times in one hour trying to convince them of it:

And Beckham has seen how domineering Cruise can be firsthand. A source close to the 44-year-old actor tells Us that he is relentlessly trying to convince the ex-Spice Girl, 32, and her husband, soccer star David Beckham, 31 (who are moving to L.A. this year), to convert to his religion.

“Victoria is sick and tired of Tom being on her back about Scientology,” says the source. “Victoria is an old-fashioned British woman who believes in God. She finds it quite rude that Tom is bugging her so much. Not too long ago, Tom left 18 messages in one hour to get them to join the church.”

And while this story is really interesting and all, I still want to know what it’s like for Victoria to have a friend that’s a giant. I wonder if Katie Holmes carries her around in her coat pocket and sneaks her into all of the hottest… uh, Dawson’s Creek reunion meetings.

Victoria Beckham is slow

Posted on March 9th, 2007 by Jordan Johnson
File Under: David Beckham, David and Victoria Beckham, High Quality Celebrity Pictures, Victoria Beckham

If you’re on a crutch, and you’re pulling your wife along like a three-year old who doesn’t wanna leave a pet shop, it’s not normal. How slow do you have to walk to be yanked along by someone crippled like that? Maybe Victoria gets distracted by the paparazzi and thinks someone famous is in the area. And then David has to explain to her that she’s the one they’re taking pictures of. And then she probably looks at him in a dazed and confused look and says “What were we talking about again?”.

David and Victoria Beckham want a girl

Posted on May 5th, 2006 by Jordan Johnson
File Under: Celebrity Babies, David Beckham, David and Victoria Beckham, Victoria Beckham

David Beckham and Victoria Beckham are gonna stand up when they have sex from now on.

Victoria and David Beckham are considering having sex standing up - to guarantee they have a baby girl.

Football ace David - who has three sons, Brooklyn, Romeo and Cruz, with his super-slim wife - is reportedly so desperate for a little girl he’s started researching ways to dictate a baby’s sex.

A source told Britain’s Grazia magazine: “David is really keen for Victoria to have another baby. But he wants a girl. And when David wants something, he gets pretty obsessed.

“He’s found out through talking to people that you have more chance of conceiving a girl if you do things like have sex standing up on certain days of the month. He’s even checked out this website that claims to guarantee a couple having a baby girl, and there’s a book called ‘Determining The Sex Of Your Baby’, which is all about whether you can plan to have a boy or a girl.”

Victoria has even picked a name for a baby girl - Luna.

She revealed: “I love the word Luna. I know it’s a girl’s name, so maybe for the next baby.”

Not that I ever considered either of them to be all that intelligent, but thinking that standing up when having sex has anything to do with the gender of the baby is absolutely ridiculous. And then on top of it, they’re gonna name it Luna? Why not just brand the baby with a big “L” on its forhead the day it’s born to get a head start on the years of ridiculing it will unquestionably go through.