Brandon Davis

Brandon Davis is racist

He kept on saying her last name over and over again, and then would insert his made-up version of an Arabic language. He was being very lewd and graphic and making sexual overtures to her in between being completely insulting.

That all might be mildly humorous if it wasn’t for the fact that Brandon Davis‘ real last name is Zerif. And if his father wasn’t Turkish wine importer. Although technically, isn’t it okay for him to be making fun of his own kind? Sort of like when black people call eachother “the ‘N’ word”?

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Featured Forum Topics for December 1st, 2006

Jordan Johnson Forums

» Lindsay Lohan Causes Scene At GQ Dinner
Rumours of Lindsay Lohan’s bad behaviour at the recent GQ men Of The Year dinner are currently abound. Lohan attended the event with her mother Dina Lohan where they rubbed shoulders with the likes of Leonardo DiCaprio…

» Britney Spears dating Brandon Davis?
Britney Spears is rumored to be dating Paris Hilton’s oil heir ex Brandon Davis. The ‘Toxic’ singer was spotted on a dinner date with the 25-year-old - who was romantically linked to the ‘Simple Life’…

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Brandon Davis might be poor

As many of you know, in Brandon Davis‘ famous firecrotch rant, he said that Lindsay Lohan was poor since she was only worth about $7 million at the time. Well now it turns out that Davis might be struggling with his finances. Brandon recently gave a $10,000 check to Joe Francis that bounced, and owes Scott Storch and George Maloof money as well. He claims he is in the process of transferring his money to a different bank account, but his entire family has apparently been having financial troubles for the past few months.

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Lindsay Lohan owns a lot of bikinis

So this is is Lindsay Lohan wearing her 38960546th bikini in the past four days, which is good news for me now that she gotten her titties back. It appears that she’s trying to start a new trend of wearing bikinis everywhere you go, which will be a good thing if people like Jessica Simpson start doing it, and a really bad thing of people like Kimberly Stewart do.

Pictures of Lindsay Lohan in a green bikini on July 8th, 2006:

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Brandon Davis has no friends

Brandon Davis has checked himself into rehab at the urging of his family for the following reasons:

1. They think it would be a good PR move.

2. He’s been turned away at a lot of LA clubs since the firecrotch incident.

3. His grandmother, Barbara Davis, is having trouble securing A-listers to participate in her annual Carousel Ball in October.

Because when your family’s PR is low and grandma can’t get high-profile celebrities to attend her functions, you know it’s time to go into rehab. Huh? What’s that? You think people go into rehab for health-related reasons? You, my friend, obviously have no idea what it’s like to be famous for doing nothing.

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Lindsay Lohan might be dating Brandon Davis

Lindsay Lohan might be boning dating Brandon Davis, even though he verbally berated her just a few days ago.

Lindsay Lohan is reportedly dating with man who labelled her “fire crotch”.

Oil-heir Brandon Davis blasted the ‘Mean Girls’ star in a recent videotaped diatribe mocking the colour of her pubic hair and slamming her personal hygiene.

However, a source overheard Davis’ grandmother telling guests at saxophonist Kenny G’s Malibu birthday party on Saturday (03.06.06): “Brandon is dating Lindsay now!”

However, Lohan’s spokesperson, Leslie Sloane, has dismissed rumours of a romance - although she did confirm the pair had kissed and made up.

She told America’s New York Post newspaper: “Lindsay took the high road and accepted Brandon’s apology last week, but they are not dating and they did not go to dinner together.

“Lindsay is dating several men who live overseas.”

And when they say “is reportedly dating Brandon Davis”, I’m pretty sure they mean “is reportedly sleeping with Brandon Davis”, because let’s face it, who hasn’t boned Lindsay Lohan? When your own spokesperson practically calls you a whore in an official statement, you really can’t become any sluttier. Even the janitor at my old schools claims that he fooled around with her, and sadly, he wouldn’t be considered one of the scummier guys she’s slept with.

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Lindsay Lohan wants Brandon Davis to donate to charity or whatever

Lindsay Lohan wasn’t happy with Brandon Davis’s apology for what he said about her nether regions and stuff, so now she wants him to donate $250,000 to charity to make up for it.

Sometime loose cannon Lindsay Lohan is keeping her cool, relatively speaking, about billion-heir Brandon Davis’ bizarre videotaped tirade that ricochetedaround the Web a couple of weeks ago.

If you missed it, the vid, shot outside a Hollywood nightclub, had Davis loudly slagging Lohan’s hygiene, her anatomy and her income. Maybe Lohan is mad, but she’s also getting even, according to In Touch.

A week after the incident, Brandon sent a written apology, but Lindsay reportedly saw that as “too little, too late.” Behind closed doors, Lindsay is reportedly demanding a video apology, as well as a $250,000 donation to a charity of her choice.

I wish I had $250,000 lying around to donate to charity and stuff. Except then I’d just donate it to myself and buy a kickass car. And then I’d ride around in it and say mean things about celebrities like Lindsay, because I’d just buy new friends if she didn’t accept my apology.

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Paris Hilton and Brandon Davis hate Lindsay Lohan

So Paris Hilton and Brandon Davis really don’t like Lindsay Lohan, according to this video. It gets good around 1:40, when Brandon begins saying things like “Lohan’s movie bombed because she’s a firecrotch” and “She cums freckles”. He later becomes rhetorical (or at least I think he’s being rhetorical) when he begins asking if you’d “f*ck her” or “f*ck her mom”, and also lets us know that “her dad’s hotter than her”. All the while, Paris is coking out cracking up in the background, proving once again that money can’t buy class.

Normally, I would agree with anything negative said about Lindsay Lohan, because she’s a nasty cracked-out whore. But this is Brand Davis and Paris Hilton we’re talking about, who are basically the only two people who are even more worthless than Lindsay herself.

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