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Lindsay Lohan’s friends aren’t safe without her

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According to Page Six, Lindsay Lohan claims that she is the rational, level-headed one out of her friends and family, and without her help everyone spirals out of control:

In a bizarre interview with Allure, Lindsay Lohan says she takes on the role of protector to her friends and family. “When my friends and family are around me I feel like they’re safe . . . When my friends have left me - I’ve just seen everything collapse. They’re not safe without me,” the starlet eerily told the magazine. Lohan also discussed her quick stint in rehab, explaining that she doesn’t plan to stop going out to clubs and partying and declaring, “That’s my life!” She also compared herself to Marilyn Monroe and claimed to be shocked she ended up needing treatment: “It’s so weird that I went to rehab. I always said I would die before I went to rehab.”

Unless Lindsay Lohan is hanging out with Wile E. Coyote, I’m pretty sure it’s safe to say that she’s the least rational out of all of her friends. In fact, even if she was friends with Wile E. Coyote, she’d still be the least rational. He’d be like “Um, so Lindsay, I think I need to stop buying these ACME products since they never work” and then Lindsay would be like “No, I swear, they’ll work this time. Hey, do you wanna have sex again?”.

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