Lindsay Lohan might be retarded

Posted on April 4th, 2007 by Jordan Johnson
File Under: High Quality Celebrity Pictures, Lindsay Lohan

So, uh, Lindsay Lohan might be retarded. Wait, did I say “might”? I meant “is definitely”. And just in case you need any more proof of this, please refer to some of the following responses she gave during a recent interview via Blackberry:

When asked about playing poker, Lindsay thumbed via Blackberry, “I just emailed my friend sara pantera saying I’m going to start playing poker again! I bought two puppies today!” So much for lucidity.

Then the topic of cats came up, and Lindsay texted, “Cats scare me. I just think of bad luck from black ones like I had in ‘Just My Luck’! I need a boyfriend. Geez.” Clearly, her focus is limited to one line at a time.

And for the finale, interviewer Marshall Sella asked Lindsay what the happiest moment of her life was. She wrote back, “Gotta think sex scene today” and never wrote back again. Next time, try the phone!

Of course, it probably wasn’t the smartest idea to interview her through a cell phone, but then again, I wouldn’t want to get within 50 feet of that chick, either. I’m pretty sure at least one of her STD’s would be able to infect me from across the room, and who knows how many of them aren’t even curable yet. Being in a room with Lindsay Lohan is about as safe as sticking your arm in a meat grinder.

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