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Jessica Simpson has finally done it. She’s finally won me back through the power of hotness. Who knew that after looking this grotesque, she’d be able to bounce back and look hotter than ever? I sure didn’t. And, you know, I might have accidently told her that the internet was broken when she started looking so hideous. Just so she didn’t see all the horrible things I was saying about her. And I’d really appreciate it if you wouldn’t tell her if you see her, okay?
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