Weekly Roundup for July 23, 2006 - July 29, 2006

Zuleyka Rivera Mendoza, aka Miss Universe, passed out after receiving her title. Lindsay Lohan acted like a drunken whore with some friends at Disneyland, and also posed in lingerie at Jeremy Piven’s 21st birthday party. Lance Bass revealed that he’s gay to the surprise of no one. Natalie Portman attacked the paparazzi. Justin Timberlake released a music video for “Sexy Back” which neither depicts him being sexy nor back. Gisele Bundchen hung out at the beach in a bikini and reminded everyone how much hotter she is than Ashlee Simpson. Christina Aguilera was pictured leaving The Ivy, and for the first time in three years, actually looked somewhat normal. Scarlett Johansson released her own line of sneakers called Scarlett Hearts Reebok; apparently a second grader came up with the title. Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt was the first baby immortalized in wax at Madame Tussauds Wax Museum in New York City. Lindsay Lohan was rushed to the hospital for dehydration and/or overheating, depending on which version of the story her publicist felt like telling you. Anna Kournikova showed up in Miami looking a lot thinner than usual, causing some people to speculate that she has an eating disorder. Victoria Silvstedt thought it might be sexy to masturbate in public since we already saw her boyfriend go down on her. Jessica Simpson changed her album cover so that nobody would compare it to Jennifer Lopez’s. Pamela Anderson released her own poker website, and thinks that “champagne” is two words. Gisele Bundchen frolicked on the beach again to the delight of men everywhere. Justin Timberlake tried to steal Jesse Metcalfe’s girlfriend, Nadine Coyle, at a London club earlier this week. And finally, Morgan Creek Productions, the company producing “Georgia Rule”, sent Lindsay a letter threatening to fire her if she doesn’t stop being such a drunken whore all the time.

5 Most Popular Articles This Week:

1. Lindsay Lohan is 12 years old (13 comments)
2. Lance Bass is gay (12 comments)
3. Lindsay Lohan is rushed to the hospital. Again. (10 comments)
4. Justin Timberlake’s “Sexy Back” Music Video (9 comments)
5. Justin Timberlake tried to steal Jesse Metcalfe’s girlfriend (9 comments)

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