Weekly Roundup for July 2, 2006 - July 8, 2006

Ever wanted to see Hulk Hogan wear a tube top or compete in a dance off? That’s basically what you’re getting by watching Brooke Hogan’s “About Us” music video. Jessica Simpson is free from Nick Lachey, which means that now when I have a pretend relationship with her, it’s not a pretend affair. Courtney Cox-Arquette’s daughter, Coco, pulled mommy’s bathing suit top down and revealed her nipple — possibly as payback for naming her something as ridiculous as Coco. Ashlee Simpson has become the new face of Victoria’s Secret, which means that I need to find a new source for my supermodel fantasies. Lindsay Lohan’s boobs grew three sizes over the past week, and she was sure to show them off in a skimpy little bikini on the 4th of July. I video blogged about Britney Spears and Kevin Federline possibly doing a second season of “Chaotic”, Cameron Diaz trying to become a “voluptuous woman”, Paris Hilton having “standards”, and Jessica Simpson causing a riot at the Pink Elephant Club in the Hamptons. Baby Suri Cruise either doesn’t exist, or is locked in a cage in Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes‘ basement, since nobody has seen her since she was born almost three months ago. Jessica Biel wore a bikini and played football, two of the three things that all women should be forced to do on a regular basis. Paris Hilton released a new version of the “Stars Are Blind” music video that’s even suckier than the original. If Justin Timberlake saying “Sexy Back” in a filtered voice over and over for 4 minutes sounds like a good time to you, you can download his new single here. Kristin Cavallari probably paid a photographer to take “candid” pictures of her on the beach. Ever wondered what it would be like to lick your armpit in public? Michelle Rodriguez did. Pamela Anderson looked hot rubbing lotion all over herself in St. Tropez, causing many people to wonder why she looked like an 80-year-old crackwhore at PETA’s “We’d Rather Bare Skin Than Wear Skin” event last week. If you’re Kate Moss, then becoming addicted to cocaine has its financial advantages. And finally, Lindsay Lohan is either attempting to bust a move or having a seizure in these pictures.

5 Most Popular Articles This Week:

1. Ashlee Simpson is the new face of Victoria’s Secret (16 comments)
2. Video Blog - Britney and Kevin might do a second season of Chaotic, Cameron Diaz is trying to become a “voluptuous woman”, Paris Hilton has standards, and Jessica Simpson caused a riot in the Hamptons (14 comments)
3. The mystery of Lindsay Lohan’s breasts (13 comments)
4. Paris Hilton’s new “Stars Are Blind” music video (12 comments)
5. Courtney Cox-Arquette nip slip (9 comments)