Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes probably don’t have a kid

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have yet to invite anyone to meet their baby, Suri Cruise, who was born almost three months ago on April 18th. They tried to auction off photos of the baby recently, but when they failed to get an asking price greater than $3 million, they refused to sell them. Even their celebrity friends are beginning to wonder if the baby is real or not. Although Katie Holmes did look like she was gonna give birth to a watermelon, I have a feeling that the baby exists. They’re just keeping it in a cage incubator in their basement so that none of the paparazzi can get a candid picture of it before they sell them. But don’t worry. I’m sure every few weeks days they go down and give it a fresh bowl of water and a piece of bread, so it’s all good.