Jessica Alba is really good at not being sexual

Jessica Alba is doing an awesome job of not being sexual anymore. Because grabbing your titty on the red carpet just screams “I want to be taken seriously as an actress”.

Actually, I think I read somewhere that she was grabbing it because she almost had a nip slip. And when someone almost has a nip slip, that’s basically the same as having a nip slip, because I can someone who’s really good with computers can photoshop the nipple in, and nobody will know the difference. And that’s almost the same as nobody knowing the difference between me pretending I have sex with Jessica Alba all the time vs. actually having sex with her for real.